Written by Dan Bristol

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Topics: The Spoof, Hollywood

Thursday, 6 May 2004

image for Michael Jackson fan attempts to flame Spoof writer
Michael Jackson: Still A Womany Man-Thing

Spoof Hollywood - Federal Marshals apprehended a character assassin hired by Michael Jackson to set up a member of The Spoof's writing staff today.

Penelope Grolsch, 35, a mother of none and head of the "Flame Everyone Who Doesn't Like Michael And Says So Coalition" was apprehended by Marshals as she attempted to lure a top writer for The Spoof into a trap.

Apparently, the plan was to flatter the writer with praise and comments about his work, obtain his permission to reprint his work, and then post it on her "Michael is SO Nifty" website along with the staff writer's e-mail in order to allow her Jackson-brainwashed friends to flame him and send him derogatory e-mails.

The writer in question was Donald Bubonic, whose biting satires have taken well-deserved potshots at Jackson, who enjoys fondling children and whose supporters don't want Spoof readers to be made aware of the necessity of incarcerating the womany man-thing pop star with large rednecks who will do the same to him.

"I just want everyone to buy into Michael's godlike, self-aggrandizing image," said Grolsch, a regular patron of Starbucks' and a member of the "Everyone Must Be Liberal or They're a Nazi" party. "After all, a pop-star who organizes massive concerts in his own honor must be worshipped by us mere mortals AND I WILL WIPE OUT ALL INFIDELS WHO DON'T AGREE WITH ME." Grolsch then began foaming at the mouth as she was led away by Federal Marshals.

Bubonic was calm in the wake of the incident. "It's not the first time I've been given the straw-man treatment for having an unpopular opinion," he said. "You should see some of the death threats I got when I wrote an article saying that ‘Survivor' should be taken off the air. It makes no difference whether they love you or hate you because, either way, they have to read your work to come to that conclusion. It's a win/win situation for me."

Bubonic told reporters he was so pleased with the outcome that he is considering writing a 74-volume series outlining Michael Jackson's crimes against fashion, music, and nature.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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