Written by Panndyra
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Wednesday, 5 May 2004

image for Bush Wants to Make Seacrest Campaign Manager: Tells America to Vote 'More than Once'
Seacrest for President 2008?

Washington, DC--

At the end of American Idol last night, Ryan Seacrest told Americans to: vote as many times as they want to.

President Bush, who is an avid American Idol fan, was watching last night. "Yes. He just loves Fantasia Barrino. He thinks she sounds familiar but he isn't sure. Of course, he also loves Chris Tucker movies. Maybe there's a connection?" An aide to the president's maid told this reporter.

After the show, he called Condi Rice and asked her who she was voting for. Condi joked that was 'top secret information' and to watch out for the 'memo' tomorrow." They both giggled.

Suddenly, the conversation turned serious. They called Cheney and had a three-way... PHONE CONVERSATION.

Cheney, who is the mastermind behind the Bush regime, suggested, "You know that Seacrest has a great idea. Why not make him our campaign manager? Maybe he can get Americans to vote more than once for us."

Condi asked, "Isn't that against current legislation?"

Cheney replied, "Don't be a wet blanket, Condi. It won't be worse than what happened with Florida in the last election." Then, they all laughed again.


Bush interjected, "Yeah. That'd be great. I could say I'm considering new legislation that would make voting in elections similar to the American Idol text message system. I mean it works so much better than what we're doing now. No controversy."

The line was silent for a minute. Then he went on to say, "Gosh darn it! If they can get rid of Jennifer Hudson, we can sink Kerry like a package of moldy ketchup in a garbage disposal!"

Condi then said, "Okay. That sounds good. Can I call Ryan? Please, oh please! I have such a huge crush on him. I want him to be my baby's daddy."

Bush said, "Sure. It's the least I can do to make up for the whole 911 Commission thing. I've got to go set up my VCR. Tomorrow night the 'OC' has its season finale and I have to eat dinner with some dignitary. I can't miss it. Nite y'all!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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