Channel 4 have announced today that they are anticipating the next series of Big Brother to be the biggest and best series yet. But have they taken things a step too far by accepting our lord Jesus Christ, Moses and Satan into the house?
No, says Big Brother's producers. "The last few years have seen a fall in big brother's popularity. We have to do something to boost ratings! I don't see what is wrong with Jesus being a contestant, everyone loves him! He agreed to the contract! What more could you want, he's got really cool hair, awesome robes, and to top it all off, he's the son of God!"
Satan however, is not at all pleased. We caught up with him on his pink scooter, and asked him a few questions. "They told me i was going to Jamaica! I didn't know they were gonna put me in some freak show!" He said when we asked him why he agreed to star in Big Brother.
Moses, who is already a celebrity "A" lister, was over the moon when he heard the news. "I'm happy to star in Big Brother. This is my chance to show the public that behind my long hair and beard, there is a kind, generous and joyful old man who longs to be loved."
According to Channel 4, this will also be the toughest series for the contestants. They will have to spend 2 days in a person shaped room, so that they cannot move at all. On the tenth day, the contestants will vote for another contestant to be boiled alive, so they can eat him.
For some reason,eating moses has been deemed blasphemous. Whatever happens, we know it will be entertaining!