Written by Dan Bristol
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Wednesday, 5 May 2004

image for Michael Jackson Fans Arrested For Encouraging Him
Michael Jackson's Fans Proudly Backing the Wrong Horse

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba - Today the U.S. Military took a more aggressive stance on threats to the American Way when it rounded up and incarcerated without trial all fans and supporters of pop star Michael Jackson.

The move to imprison the pop-star freak's fans comes in the wake of Jackson's 11,000,000th indictment for child-molestation. Jackson, a freakish, hermaphroditic marionnete-looking creature, is adored by gazillions of people around the globe who, according to Military officials, "don't know any better, being freaky mutant types themselves."

"It's our job to re-educate these poor souls," said General Gordon Hamhocker, Chief Operations Officer for Operation Get Rid of All the Freaks. "We need to isolate them from the general public and beat them, er - I mean . . . help them to see the error of their ways."

According to inside sources, the 10,000 prisoners seized thus far have been treated well. They are given three hot meals per day, each consisting of a bowl of steam. As for the re-education of the culture criminals, the military is forcing them to listen to the Rolling Stones, ZZ Top, and Jimi Hendrix. This past week, the Army introduced the prisoners to its new psych-ops tool; a recording of G. Gordon Liddy singing "Michael Jackson Sucks".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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