The infamous 'doctor who' found himself in dire straits when a formless minion ate his beloved assistant Beyonce Castle.
Without anybody to rescue he was soon driven to desperate measures in order to find a new smiley piece of arm candy.
Because of this he came up with the truly fabulous plan of tying a big glittery diamond onto a long piece of twine and flying the Tardis over London city center vowing to reel in a 'real looker'. Imagine his surprise when instead of someone perfect like me he came up with that horror upon horrors Kerry Katona.
"AEY THIS IS GREAT" she shrieked, ratings for Doctor have since dropped drastically, shame.