Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 3 April 2008

image for EastEnders Peggy Mitchell Tells Pat Butcher "Ged Arda Mar Pab!"
The slap was heard across London

There was intense drama and skilful scriptwriting evident in Tuesday's edition of British soap EastEnders, when Barbara Windsor, played by Peggy Mitchell, ordered Pam St Clements (Pat Butcher) to "Ged arda mar pab!".

The trademark vicious tirade came during a heated and frank (geddit?) discussion about Frank, Pat's dead husband, who used to host kid's TV show Runaround, as well as selling used cars and running the Queen Vic in his spare time.

Windsor and St Clements then traded slaps, before the latter staggered out of the Vic, bursting Frank's party balloons as she went. The slap could be heard by viewers as far away as Shepherd's Bush.

Old regulars Ricky, Diane and Janine all made comebacks for their dad's funeral, as work outside of the show has dried up, and all three have been 'feeling the pinch'.

Another former regular due to make a reappearance is Bianca Jackson, the fiery ginger-haired bimbo, who will return with at least four of her 18 children.

EastEnders scriptwriter Sally Shi'ite, defending the use of the "Ged Arda Mar Pub" card, said:

"We're constantly struggling against falling ratings, and viewer-indifference. Only God knows what kind of tripe we'll come up with next!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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