Written by Gracie Vampland
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Wednesday, 2 April 2008

International Baby Nappies Giant Cuddles has reportedly offered Johnny Depp 30m dollars and nappies for life for any future child or grandchild he's going to have if he stars in a succession of television ads.

The spokesperson of the diaper makers explains, "Johnny has already proved his commitment to children and is a very versatile actor. We think he can pull off anything, including a pull ups ad where he crawls around on the floor practically naked.

"We have conducted some research and a survey beforehand and our results say that the new musical nappy line Depp Don't Cry Baby, especially formulated to withstand even Kraken spit, would be especially popular with mums of any age, as well as children."

Reports indicate a feature length version of the ad is planned, which would hit cinemas worldwide later this year.

However, the World Health Organization has pointed out that the plan might have some side effects that Mr. Depp should study as the company did not take into the consideration the fact that Johnny Depp's face on the side of the nappy packs and especially inside on the front of individual nappies will certainly compel young teenagers into buying the product and the only way of certifying that would be becoming mums early.

So far, Mr. Depp has not committed himself one way or another, but the Union Of Mothers All Over The World has started a campaign obtaining signatures to try to convince Johnny that nappies are the Fountain of Youth he's been looking for, in more ways than one.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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