Written by Sophie Jayne
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Tuesday, 25 March 2008

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Emma loves the bible.

Harry Potter actress Emma Watson, 17, has got a calling from God and now realises that she can no longer go on working on the films because she must take her place in her local convent.

"I hate to leave the producers of the film in the lurch." Sister Emma told us "But I think I always knew somewhere deep inside that I would never fully be happy until I became a nun and could spread the great word of the Lord. I tried to hide my desire to become a nun for so long but I just couldn't hold it in for any longer and had to come out."

"Who would have thought it, our Emma a nun." exclaimed hunky co star Daniel Radcliffe "She goes around having sex and drinking like nobody's business and then suddenly she is bashing her bible left right and centre. At least she will look hot in her nunny outfit that will be something to hot up the monks and priests sad little lives."

Because we are annoying and because we had the inclining that Emma's sudden love of the church wasn't legit, we broke into the convent (yes we are probably going to hell- but who cares). Inside we found Emma dressed from head to foot in typical black and white nun attire on her knees praying. We left then because it seemed like it was all true, Emma is doomed for a life of good deeds, bibles and hail Mary's.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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