Written by Everyman
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Topics: Europe, Girls Aloud

Tuesday, 25 March 2008

image for Girls Aloud split up due to irreconcilable differences
Only three of the girls supported a referendum

One of the most popular girl groups of recent years has been forced to split due to irreconcilable differences. The girls, famous for their catchy songs and raunchy videos have been forced to break up due to deeply held views about whether the UK should hold a referendum over whether to stay in the European Union or go it alone.

Cheryl Cole, Nadine Coyle and Sarah Harding maintain that the Union has changed out of all proportion since the UK signed up to the then EEC in 1973. "A referendum is the only way forward." said Coyle, coquettishly posing naked, only partially covered by a Union Jack. Nicola Roberts and Kimberly Walsh however believe that the democratic deficit is blown out of all proportion by xenophobic nationalists who have not adjusted to Britain's post imperialist place in the world.

"The EU is the only way that we can exercise leverage over the likes of the US and the new global economic power house of China." said Nicola, as she posed in a pseudo lesbian embrace with Kimberly for the cover of New Labour's local government manifesto.

A spokesperson for the band confirmed the split: "It is a pity that the girls started to talk about current affairs. Had they kept to a meaninglessly shallow existence of partying and makeup none of this would have happened. Let this be a warning to other wannabes of the dangers of hardcore political discourse."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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