Written by Jalapenoman
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Saturday, 22 March 2008

image for Girl Loses Virginity to Bicycle Seat
I've heard of losing it in the backseat, but with a bicycle seat?

While riding her bicycle to school, thirteen year old Amanda Peterson swerved to avoid a traffic accident. The collision flipped the young girl over the bars and onto the grassy area next to the road and her bike fell onto her in a compromising position. In a strange and coincidental fall, Amanda received vaginal penetration from the seat of her bicycle, tearing the hymen.

Amanda was going to school wearing a mini skirt and commando/Britney fashion, enabling the accident to occur.

From her hospital room, where she was being treated for broken bones in both her arms, the young lady was slightly upset. "The bike has not called for three days. Three! Days! You'd think I could at least get flowers or something!"

"But no! No flowers! No phone call! Not even a cigarette afterwards or money for a cab ride home or to the hospital!"

The bicycle could not be reached for comment, but witnesses say that the handlebars were shaped into a wicked grin the last time they saw it.

Coincidentally, Amanda shares a room with Brooke Nichols, a girl who said that she lost her virginity last year to the saddle horn while riding her horse. In this situation, however, Brooke says that she still takes the horse out daily and enjoys a "rough ride in the mountains or a good time in the saddle."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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