Today a number of people witnessed the queen urinating in a gutter on Downing Street on the way to a meeting with PM Gordon Brown.
"Her skirt was pulled over her head as she crouched down in the gutter." Lucy an onlooker said "She fell backwards a few times, losing her balanced and her aim was awful."
"I did wonder what she had been up to." admitted Gordon "Her tights were dripping wet and she smelt like a public toilet without the disinfectant."
"I was bursting." Queenie screamed in her defence "Toilets are against Brownie's religion and so what is a girl to do?"
It seems to us that the Queen is going off the rails- we suggest an ASBO.