Written by queen mudder
Print this

Sunday, 9 March 2008

image for Presley sues over phantom pregnancy jibes
Swollen up like a farrowing swine

California - (Fat Ass Mess): Lisa Marie Presley is suing celebrity-watch paper LA FagHagSlagMag over stories that her phantom pregnancy has made her into a corpulent 25-stone laughingstock gargoyle.

"It's a basic, gastrointestinal greed condition," an LA FagHagSlagMag editorial said today, "and could happen to anybody with an over-inflated ego, precious little talent and a hystery of highly dubious heterosexual relationships with the tribute act known as Michael Jackson."

Presley, 39, has recently swollen up like a farrowing swine.

She was snapped by paparazzi cramming five litre vats of chocolate chip ice cream down her gullet last week.

On Friday evening the LA Fire Department was called out on an emergency rescue after lardarse Presley got stuck in the revolving doors of the Bel Air Hotel and had to cut out with thermic lance equipment.

Then on Saturday afternoon the suspension on her brand new Cadillac Seville mysteriously buckled with metal fatigue after Presley got in the car and tried to pull out of a Rodeo Drive sidewalk.

"It's just a phantom pregnancy jinx," Presley screamed at reporters today.

"And I ain't fat!"

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 4?

6 17 20 14
61 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more