Written by Jesus Budda
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Sunday, 16 March 2008

image for Prison Break star wins Squinting Contest
It's so dark in here. Light will not penetrate my eyeballs

Prison Break star Wentworth Miller has beaten off rival Clint Eastwood in a live televised squinting contest watched by millions.
The actor, who plays Michael Schofield in the hit TV drama, drew much praise for his 'exquisite' squinting style in the programme.

"He's a modern day Charles Bronson", wrote Andy Capped in the Boston Bugle.

A prize fund of $200,000 was organised with all the cash going to the Charity of each stars choice.
Miller chose the American Institute For the Deaf.

"I speak very, very low", said the generous heart-throb," those guys need all the help they can get to hear me".

Actors from across the nation gathered at the Hollywood sign where a tent was setup and seating arrangements were made.

Wenthworth Miller saw off competition early on from big-hitters such as Josh Harnett and Steven Seagal before coming 'squint-to-squint' with Clint.

"Your young, Kid", growled Eastwood as he lit a match with his stubble, "I like that."

Thier bout lasted 5 gruelling hours, in which each man used his facial muscles to contort themselves into an ecstacy of skin wrinkling excitement.

The decision was eventaully given by a unanimaous verdict to the Prison Break boy.

"I'm old and grizzled", said a humbled Clint, "the kid beat me fair and square.This is a young man's game".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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