Written by Kenneth Manboobs
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Tuesday, 27 April 2004

image for Christina Aguilera Downgraded By Wachovia Securities
Don't ever let them see you scratch

NEW YORK, April 27 (New Ratings) - Analysts at Wachovia Securities downgraded Christina Aguilera (NYSE: STD) from "skanky but doable" to "not with a ten foot pole."

Aguilera, a US-Based aging pop diva is also battling recurring "pudginess" is currently trading at a soft 10 stones.

According to Wachovia Securities' research note published this morning, Christina is likely to witness continued sluggishness in her latest album sales, Penicillin, in the near term. The analysts mention that the singer does not anticipate improvement in itchy rash trends until 4Q04, as compared to the earlier expectations of 2Q04. However, Wachovia Securities anticipates limited downside risks from the current "red blotchiness", given the Aguilera's potentially robust excess of doctor's visits in the near term.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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