Written by Tragic Rabbit
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Monday, 3 March 2008

image for Rambo 4 Sucks Utterly: Banned in Britain, Burma
On the Myanmar 'London jungle' set of banned film Rambo 4: To Britain for Tea and Back

(Hollywood) Sylvester Stallone has threatened to expose Britain's 'killing fields' if the ban on his latest Rambo flick is not lifted.

To keep his budget low, the 61-year-old monosyllabic action star shot what all hope is the final Rambo movie in the jungles of Myanmar - formerly Burma - and is now upset because this latest of his pointless, tasteless, violent, low-budget sock-'em films might not reach all of his mum's-basement-dwelling fans.

This following official crackdowns in Britain and Myanmar on both legal and illegal distribution of 'Rambo 4: To Britain for Tea and Back', previously known by its working title 'Rambo: Spit a Nasty Gob in England's Poncy Eye'.

British and Burmese authorities are said to be upset about the film's plot--it doesn't have one--and also to be fairly tired of American 'blockbuster' crap cinema forcibly sent overseas by the illiterate film school rejects who direct and star in them.

The Burmese government additionally resents the bamboozling of its citizens who worked hard all last year on the film.

"We not happy Americans come here and pay our peoples with glass beads and fire-whiskey," declared an outraged spokesman for the State Peace and Development Council in Myanmar, "We deserve paid in American dollars just like Hong Kong!"

Sylvester Stallone shrugs off these official critiques and continues to demand the ban be lifted.

The angry steroid-abusing actor-slash-director flexed his biceps at reporters and fumed, "If the British government has nothing to hide, I am willing to go to #10 Downing Street and show the world where thousands of bodies are buried. Let those fruity Brits look me in the eye and tell me they have a great country. It will never happen."


Tragic Rabbit, USA Tomorrow, Hollywood

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