Cyberspace - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): The top-selling Californian celeb-watch publication LAFagHagSlagMag is believed to be creaming off the internet's best satirical writers after a consortium of bigoil interests admitted pooling their massive petrodollar profit surpluses into a new cyber-organ dedicated to lampooning the 2008 US presidential erection.
The news has brought feverish speculation that Juneau resident and veteran debunker of the notorious Alaskan Corrupt Bastards Club Gnarly Erik has been headhunted to edit the magazine's relaunch, backed with a whopping great big expenses budget, unlimited first class foreign travel, Amex platinum card "and an annual salary to make your eyes weep!"
Gnarly Erik currently pens an adhoc column on the satirical website The Spoof! where a loyal fanbase eagerly awaits his anticipated offerings.
Today he was keeping his plans very close to his chest as fellow writers besieged him for news of the defection as well as on the offchance of securing freelance commissions from the burgeoning editorial budget over which he may well preside in the very near future.
"I'm saying nothing," the enigmatic Norwegian hinted to reporters, "except that I ain't publishing any goddam turd stories, sophomoric dross salvaged from adolescent recycling bins or dumbass rantings from some of the raving lunatics currently posing as bona fide writers."
The news of Gnarly Erik's reported likely move to LaFagHagSlagMag has sent shockwaves throughout Alaska where Senators Frank Murkowski and Ted Stevens have barricaded themselves inside their homes amid reports their seedy, fetid pasts are about to catch up with them bigtime.
"WTF are we gonna do now Pa?" Ben Stevens, son of Ted, wailed after reading the headlines today.