Written by Kea Toff

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Topics: Sex, gender

Sunday, 2 March 2008

image for New sex symbols preferred
How do you identify sexually? Simplified icons for sexual orientation.

Confusion over sexual identity symbols has grown over the last thirty years. A citizens committee comprised of poets, writers, actors and religious leaders has selected four symbols to convey sexual interest and affiliation.

Taking a hint from the iconic Teletubbie raiment, fourteen people selected four symbols to represent sexual orientation. After a full day watching children's television, the panel has elected to use a square to represent a heterosexual nature. An X to represent the transgender coordinates. A triangle to represent Bisexual. And a circle to represent anything goes.

Teletubbies, which have denied any sexual meaning in symbolism from their cute characters say they feel as long as people have kindness and love in their hearts they should not have to endure hatred because of their nature or dress. Our show seeks to promote peace, kindness and good behavior, not alter the choices of others.

Church leaders commented they are happy to have a square to represent them and not a cross which has hurt the image of religion by suggesting torture and deprivation. They contend it is their mission to save poeple, not send them to Hell forever.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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