Hollywood--Non-Oscar winner and space cadet Tom Cruise has announced that he is leaving the controversial Church of Scientology to explore a new religion: The Force.
"The Force is just a lot cooler," said Cruise, "and, if you think about it, the whole Star Wars story is a little more realistic than Scientology."
"Plus, Princess Leia looked really hot in her little slave girl outfit in Return of the Jedi," Cruise added.
When asked about accepting Cruise as a Jedi, founder Yoda said simply, "Wrong with that, there is not anything."
When Katie Holmes, Cruise's much taller and more masculine wife, was asked for her thoughts on the change in belief, she merely rolled her eyes, popped a vicodin and took a big drink of whiskey.