Written by TJL
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Topics: jennifer lopez

Friday, 22 February 2008

image for Jennifer Lopez Gives Birth To Children Way Better Than Yours
Not even close

New York - Superstar singer/actress Jennifer Lopez gave birth to twins early Friday morning, a boy and a girl who are destined to be more powerful, successful and just plain better than your kids will ever be.

"Jennifer and Marc (Anthony, J-Lo's husband) are thrilled beyond belief to be the parents of two beautiful children who are at this moment more perfect and important than the children of any of their fans will ever hope to be in their entire lives," a publicist for the couple stated. "Jen and Marc hope the birth of their children will inspire the people of the world to raise their children to be strong and proud so that some day they may be able to work for their amazing offspring."

Lopez's boy and girl have already secured a lucrative "first photo" deal with People magazine to the tune of six million dollars, which let's face it, makes that picture hanging on the refrigerator that your kid made the other day look like a gigantic pile of shit.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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