In an extraordinary leaked BBC memo, it has been revealed that the top level of the BBC have been initiated into a Mexican death cult which requires its members to commit suicide during a lunar eclipse.
The cult, known as the Sons of Quetzlcoatl, is rumoured to be over 1,000 years old and to have had its origins in certain Aztec rituals. It is believed that certain high ranking BBC employees -among them Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson and political editor Andrew Marr- were initiated into the cult by Judith Chalmers, a lifelong devotee, whose own interest stemmed from a stay in Acapulco during the making of Wish you were here? in 1975.
Chalmers is reputed to be the most fanatical member of the SOQ in the western hemisphere. It is said she has been spared being sacrificed due to the great loyalty she has shown to the cult and also for the amount of disciples she has brought into the fold.
It is apparent from inside information that all positions of influence within the BBC are now filled with cult members and that they will require all BBC personnel -not merely devotees of the cult- to commit ritual suicide while singing When the boat comes in. The memo reads:
- Dear staff
Thank you all for your continuing support and loyalty. As some of you know, you will all be required to come to work early on Thursday morning and while the blessed earth clothes the moon in her shadow we shall all join with our creator, Quetzlcoatl, in the sky. Tea and biscuits will be provided.