Doctor and mental health professionals working with pop star Britney Spears reversed their diagnosis of paranoia and hallucinations and proclaimed she really is hearing voices and people really are out to get her.
"Britney is in perfect mental health", declared Dr Fred Toboggan of Cedar-Sinai Hospital. "We made a terrible diagnosis."
Toboggan explained that the paparazzi , her ex-husband Kevin Fedderline, her ex-boyfriend Adrian Ghalib and her father Jamie colluded with one another in an attempt to drive the sexy diva insane. Doctors located tiny transmitters and receivers in her clothing. The transmitters would tell her such things as "shave your head" and "expose your vagina". Britney reacted the way any healthy, sane person would have.
Britney's father broke down sobbing, "OK! You caught me! She was making hundreds of millions and she expected me to be happy on $50,000 a month! We all got together and did this! Now we will all be homeless and destitute after we get out of prison!"
"I am so glad to finally have all this behind me", a noticeably relieved Britney said from her Malibu home. "I am anxious to have all those who conspired against me imprisoned so I may continue my life and help feed the starving children of the world".
Superior Court Commissioner Reva Goetz has given Britney custody of her two children and is allowing her to maintain her own estate. In addition, she will control the estates of the paparazzi , her ex-husband Kevin Fedderline, her ex-boyfriend Adrian Ghalib and her father Jamie.
"She who laughs last laughs best!" Britney said with a hearty laugh.