Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 20 February 2008

image for EastEnders Stars To Perform Duet In Eurovision Song Contest Bid
Well, anything's got to be better than Scooch!

Former EastEnders actor Tucker Jenkins, is to perform an unlikely duet with singer Michelle Gayle in a bid to win this year's Eurovision Song Contest for Britain with their anti-drug song "Just Say No".

Jenkins, who played Mark Fowler in the miserable soap, can't sing, but reasoned that, as the contest isn't about singing - it's about politics - he and black activist Gayle would stand an excellent chance of 'being elected'.

The pair are about as political as a duo could get: Jenkins left EastEnders after contracting AIDS, and then tried his luck as a policeman, but has never recaptured the form he once showed as a student in the gritty school drama, Grange Hill.

Gayle also figured in Grange Hill as a rap artist, before following Jenkins to Albert Square where she played Hattie Tavernier, the sexy non-rapping PA to Ian Beale. She has several Top 20 hits to her name including the 1994 hit Bang Me Hard.

The choice of song is thought to be perfect for Eurovision, as it has lyrics that are easy to understand and to remember, although not easy to obey for Europeans, who like a bit of smack with their cocoa.

The song, if selected, is expected to score 'null pwan'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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