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Sunday, 17 February 2008

image for Naked Jordan Devastated After Surgery Leaves Her Looking Normal
Just Like The Rest of Us Now, Jordan

Glamour model Jordan aka Katie Price has today slammed plastic surgery after hers went horrifically wrong. Jordan is in hiding today after revealing that her latest boob job has left her with average sized boobs, which are neither pert or bouncy and tend to sag very slightly.

Her porcelain veeneers are causing her more grief than she ever imagined, leaving her smile like every other womans. "They left the crushed diamonds out," sobbed a distraught Jordan, "my teeth aren't dazzling any more, they just look like everyone else's teeth."

Due to her dismal failed surgery, Jordan has to let her body rest and will be unable to have this months lipo, botox injections, lip and butt collagen, hair extensions, skin peels and laser treatment.

"Pete wont want me any more if I just look like a normal woman and not a pneumatic freakish Barbie doll," wailed Jordan this afternoon through her letterbox.

One ray of sunshine in Jordan's middle of the road world is that she can still go ahead and have her anus bleached. Peter Andre is booked into the hairdressers later today.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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