Written by Everyman
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Saturday, 16 February 2008

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Paula Abdul's fart contravenes international chemical legislation

The ordinarily fragrant Paula Abdul caused filming of the current series of American Idol to be halted for a full hour after she broke wind.

Fellow judge Simon Cowell told this website that he had noticed Paula fidgeting a bit during a rehearsal. At first he said he thought it was because the auditions were so poor. But then he noticed Paula colour a little and a few seconds later his nasal cavities were attacked by something he described as "from a first world war trench".

The cloud of polluted gas spread into the studio and caused the camera crew to start gasping for breath and retching. "Initially Paula denied it was her - but anyone could see that she had guilt written all over her face. The fact that she was the only one not being sick was a bit of a give away" said Randy Jackson.

"To be honest I have new found respect for Paula," Cowell added. "I've always thought she was a bit too sugary and sweet. The fact that she can let one out like that shows a new tougher side to her." He paused and then mused: "I wonder if she followed through?"

There was however a bizarre twist at the end of this niffy tale. Environmental Health Officers were called and declared the studio safe after an hour and filming was able to continue. However, in the course of their testing they found that Paula's fart was actually banned under a number of international chemical warfare treaties. The police were called and Ms Abdul was taken away for questioning. She had not been released at the time of filing this report, but we will bring you more details as soon as we get them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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