Written by Paul Deacon

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Topics: Music

Wednesday, 5 September 2001

image for Composers To Face The Music
Conductors want to know where they stand

Composers around the world are in a state of shock this morning when it was announced that no more new tunes can be written.

According to the Musical Note Registry all possible combinations of notes have now been used up. Registry spokesman Clive Jeffers told TheSpoof, "We have been monitoring the situation for the past 10 years and noticed that new melody combinations were becoming more difficult to find"

"We have been working very closely with the music industry to find solutions. They came up with the boy bands singing cover versions and dance acts sampling old songs. These were just a few ways of trying to preserve original melodies. Unfortunately, Jeff Lynne of ELO used up the very last remaining melody for a mobile phone ring yesterday afternoon," he added.

However, the music industry itself is upbeat. A spokeswoman said this morning "We are not worried about this. The Vengaboys have a new album out next week".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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