Miley Cyrus has had to cancel plans for a short tour of European cities after a row between her management and the European Commission over her name.
The EC said that it could not allow Ms Cyrus to perform because her name did not conform to the metric system which is now enshrined in law. Within the European Union it is now illegal to sell products describing weights or distances in terms other than SI units (e.g. grams and meters). The EC is vigorously enforcing this position and only last year British market sellers were given life sentences for continuing to use the imperial system of pounds and ounces when selling fruit and vegetables.
This situation means that technically the term mile is banned - the kilometre being the legal replacement. To sell tickets with the word Mile on them is therefore an illegal act, which could result in Ms Cyrus being thrown in jail if she went ahead with the tour. Cyrus's management tried to explain that "The Kilometry Cyrus show" did not quite have the same ring - but the Commission were deaf to their pleas.
The Commission went further and suggested that the use of the name Cyrus - which almost spells EU member state of Cyprus - might incite tension, anger and bloody violence "With all of the international and diplomatic strain around Turkey's desire to join the EU, we believe that allowing a high profile 'Cyrus' tour to take place might open a can of aggressive and unwanted worms."
Journalists at a press conference suggested that this was all a load of rubbish and another attempt by the Commission to interfere in people's lives by enforcing ludicrous and meaningless policies.
"Hey" said the spokesperson."Don't blame us, we don't make the rules"
When it was pointed out that they do actually make the rules in a system that has a significant democratic deficit, the reply was curt: "It's the Kilometry show or nothing - your choice"