Written by Jesus Budda
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Thursday, 14 February 2008

image for Hitler's great-grandniece designs colostomy bag for Stalin's grandson
One of Benettons 'controversial' new posters promoting the colostomy bag

The grandniece of disgraced Nazi pig nose Adolf Hitler has entered the cutthroat world of fashion by designing a haute-couture colostomy bag for the grandson of Russian tyrant Joseph Stalin.

"It's a special, exclusive once-off piece", said Helga Hitler from her basement apartment in downtown Buenos Aires, "it's designed to fit snugly around the balls of Mister Stalin Jnr".

"Of course my 'great' grand-uncle, Adolf, only had one testicle himself. The other he lost to a Belgian soldier in game of twister during the First World War".

"He never forgave himself for failing at the backwards crab move and swore vengeance on Europe. That's a true story".

The glamorous rubber-fit number comes in stylish black, which is decorated with mother of pearl inlays and diamantes studding.

Fashion house Benetton signed up the young Hitler heiress after viewing her portfolio and realizing they could milk some publicity out of such an infamous name. One marketing genius thought it would be 'fun' to use Stalin's grandson, Bobby Stalin.

"To be honest", said Stalin's grandson from his retirement home porch as he modeled the safety pants,

"I think I look a little gay".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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