Los Angeles, California - (Detox Mess): Britney Spears has petitioned California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's private orifice after her Mom told LA psych ward directors the singer's problems all lay in a toxic vagina that "had seen more fetid rubbish than the Fresno Municipal Sanitary Landfill."
The singer checked herself out of the Seedy Signs Memorial Hospital Mental Unit today and immediately tried to file the defamation claims.
But lawyers said she was barred from initiating legal action while still classed as mentally incapable.
"Spears then made a phone call to Governor Schwarzenegger's private orifice and demanded an audience," an LA FagHagSlagMag editorial reported.
"As one of the State's top taxpayers Britney has told Arnold she fears her father's conservatorship over all her assets is a cynical ruse to sequester the estate and hide all the money in an offshore location," the editorial continued.
"This would have the effect of depriving the Californian State of sizeable annual taxation revenues which Spears regularly makes from her considerable income.
"Of course it would also barricade the singer from access to her own earnings.
"But it may be an issue that will interest the Governor given her previous clout in his private orifice," the magazine added.
Meanwhile Fresno Municipal Sanitary Landfill CEO Dave Rubbish has said there might be a counter-suit possible given the slur of having his trashsite compared to the singer's own slagheap.
Kevein Federline is 29.