Written by Jesus Budda
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Sunday, 3 February 2008

image for Paris Hilton asks: Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?
If you've seen Mike Hunt you'd let me know, right?

Socialite and elephant-lover Paris Hilton has added her celebrity presence to a high profile Internet campaign to locate a missing New Jersey man.
Neighbors of Mike Hunt, grew weary with the response from local police after reporting their friend hadn't returned home in a few days.

"The cops didn't pay us any heed and told us to get a life", said one worried pal, "so we decided to fuck that idea and start up our own Internet appeal".

Paris became involved when she was contacted by one of the group.

"I was, like, very upset", said Hilton, "I immediately said I'd like to help out in any way I could".

Hilton has recorded a number of video appeals, which have been broadcast all over the web.

"Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?", appeals Hilton in the spots, "like, somebody out their must have seen Mike Hunt?"

Following the showing of the first batch of ads, telephone lines have been hopping with thousands of reported sightings.

"It's, like, great to know I've made a difference", said Hilton, "although most of the calls have been pretty cryptic. A few people have said that Mike Hunt is all warm and wet. So, some of the guys think he's lost in the jungle, or something."

Britney Spears and Madonna have also promised to lend their time to the "have you seen Mike Hunt" appeal.

The number to dial for information is 555-1253478094845341*

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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