Written by Kenneth Manboobs
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Tuesday, 20 April 2004

New York - The early release of Britney Spears new video, Everytime, was met with huge amounts of criticism from activists all across the United States. In the video, Spears is seen taking some pills and ends up dead in the bathtub. The apparent suicide scene has caused great concerns that people might take the video seriously, and there is concern that the after-effects could be devastating to an entire generation of young people. Spears claimed that the video did not show a suicide, but rather "an accidental drowning" that resulted from mixing too many sleeping pills with bathing water. Activists were skeptical.

"We find it incredible that Britney Spears would attempt such a spectacle. Whether she was supposed to show a suicide or an accidental drowning is irrelevant. Millions of teens would watch this video and would be influenced by what they saw," said Debbie Baldridge of the TeenHotline.com. "When these kids find out that Britney was just acting and hadn't actually killed herself, the results could be devastating. It's not like these kids want to kill her or anything, but there is definitely a sentiment out there that it wouldn't be all bad if she were to just go away. I am afraid that we could see mass mental issues across the country if America's youth saw the video, accepted her demise, and then found out later that they had been duped."

Britney's spokesperson, Jason Littman, tried to set the matter to rest. "When Britney was confronted with the choice of changing the video or actually killing herself, she decided to go with changing the video. Hopefully, all of the namby-pamby conservatives and/or liberals that hate Britney will lighten up a bit once they see the new version."

The newest version of the video has not been released for early screening, but word on the street says that she now eats beans rather than pills, and the bath tub scene now deals with Britney doing some creative bubble making.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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