Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Topics: PETA, Eva Mendes

Saturday, 2 February 2008

image for Eva Mendes enters Rehab for a sexual addiction to herself; scheduled to undergo electric shock therapy; PETA plans rescue operation
Eva Mendes enters Rehab for a sex addiction to herself, along with the rest of us

Hollywood, California - Eva Mendes, the luscious leggy Latin lassie and PETA's (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) spokesperson, is the latest Hollywood starlet forced into Rehab in an attempt to combat an addition gone out of control. In her case, however, Mendes does not have a substance abuse problem, but she is addicted to chemicals - pheromones. Apparently, she just does not know how to say no, when it comes to affairs of the heart.

Word has it that her manager, friends and family members in an intervention confronted her after she was caught in bed with a group of striking writers she picked up picketing outside the Paramount studios gate in Hollywood.

"That's when we knew she hit rock bottom," said a friend of the family. "Who sleeps with the writers anyways?"

Mendes recently became the spokesperson for PETA where her naked buttocks appears on posters in a highly visible ad campaign to bring awareness to the plight of animals, many of whom are tortured in unnecessary consumer test product experiments, or sacrificed for their furs and pelts to the fashion industry.

Ironically, Mendes will undergo several secessions of the controversial shock therapy considered by PETA as cruel and inhumane treatment for animals.

After an emergency meeting, however, PETA board members voted to change the organizational rules to reclassify Medes as an honorary animal and vow to rescue her from the Rehab center.

"Usually we don't act on behalf of humans, only animals," said a spokesperson for PETA, while putting on black facial makeup in preparation for the raid on the Rehab center where Mendes is registered as a patient. "But since she [Mendes] is such a babe, we are willing to make an exception. Besides judging from the rumors on how she behaves in bed, she must be a real wildcat."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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