Written by Jalapenoman
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Monday, 28 January 2008

image for Untalented Fat Girl Sues American Idol

Beulah Robinson cannot sing. She admits that. She also tips the scales at 325 pounds. That she was dressed in a canary suit could not have helped her audition very much either. The hosts of American Idol went to far according to the teenager, however, and that is why she is suing them.

"I go on this show, expecting to be told that I look like Big Bird's Pregnant Mama, that my singing is bloody awful, get told I need to lose a ton or two, and expect the judges to laugh at me. None of this happened. They were nice to me!

"Randy never said that I had pitch problems or called me a dog. Paula ...well, she never said anything. Simon never said that I was fat or screechy or nothing. I didn't even get shown on the clips on Tuesday night with all of the other people with no talent!

"They were actually polite. All they said was that they appreciated my performance but it was not quite good enough. What a load of crap!

"I'm suing American Idol for ten million dollars because now nobody will believe me that I got kicked off the show. I wanted my William Hung contract. I wanted Ryan Seacrest to be nice to me in the lobby. I wanted the cameras to follow me down the hall as I cussed and gave everyone the finger.

"They took away my right to free speech by not allowing me to tell them to fuck off and flip them the bird!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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