Engelbert Humperdinck, the heavily moustached singer, has announced he is to change his name by deed poll to avoid a string of recent insults.
The Russian born singer revealed a daily tirade of abuse just because of his stupid name. "There is only so much of it you can take. I phoned up to pay my gas bill the other day and as soon as I gave my personal details the sniggering started on the other end of the telephone."
The ludicrously named singer continued "Two days later I needed to check out the bus route from my home in the States to my home town of Leicester in England. The operator nearly collapsed laughing at this request, and that's all to do with my name. Well I've had enough."
The laughably named singer most famous for his 1950's hit My Way explained that he had mused over various names and has come up with a shortlist.
"I quite like the more traditional names such as George, Albert and Shania" said the absurdly named entertainer. "I feel though I have come up with a name that will give me a sound foundation from which to continue with my career and hopefully have another couple of hits."
And this name? Arnold Dorsey.
Well best of luck to him I say. With a name like that he's going to need it.