Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Monday, 14 January 2008

image for Britney Spears becomes the newest "Vitameatavegamin Vitamins" girl
Britney Spears spokesperson for a new troubled generation of 'Vitameatavegamin Vitamins' users

Hollywood, California - Vitameatavegamin Vitamins Inc., makers of the potent health elixir of essential minerals, vitamins, ground beef and pure grain alcohol, announced today that they have hired Britney Spears to be their latest spokesperson for their product. The title is a prestigious one, previously held by Lucile Ricardo, wife of the famous Latin big bandleader, Ricky Ricardo, back in the 1950s.

"Few people realize that Vitameatavegamin Vitamins is a real health product line because they first saw it on the "I Love Lucy" show," said Mark Harmen. "And we're okay with that because Lucile Ball has been the best Vitameatavegamin Vitamins girl we ever had. But it's time to move on and put a new face on our product. One that today's trouble youth can more readily identify with."

Harmen is also convinced that if Britney takes Vitameatavegamin Vitamins just three times a day that her physical health, emotional well-being and metal state will be fully restored to previous status before her breakdown.

"Britney's aberrant behavior is due to an imbalanced diet," said Harmen. "Clearly she is not getting her daily allowance of essential minerals, vitamins, ground beef and pure grain alcohol. Few of today's trouble youth are."

Mainly because they view their grandparent's generation preferred recreational drug of choice with contempt instead of admiration because of the high cholesterol in rare ground beef and excess calories in the pure grain alcohol, says Harmen.

"Only the new product line of Vitameatavegamin Vitamins is not the old Vitameatavegamin Vitamins," says Harmen. "Don't get me wrong the ground beef and grain alcohol is still in there, and it will get you just as plastered as before, but now in half the time and with half the cholesterol and calories then before. Coming in pill form for the first time, too."

According to Harmen, those were the pills Britney was popping on the day she was committed to the mental ward.

"That day, we advised Britney to take mega doses of Vitameatavegamin Vitamins," said Harmen, "Unfortunately, because she prefers to take Vitameatavegamin Vitamins in pill form, they did not have the time to properly metabolize in her body and so they did not take full effect until sometime later when she was already committed."

Harmen claims that they did take effect, however, which lead to her early release from the mental ward.

"It is our sincerest hope to help the trouble youth of this generation with Vitameatavegamin Vitamins as we have for generations before," said Harmen.

Harmen cautions not to drink Vitameatavegamin Vitamins and drive, operate heavy machinery, or mix it with any prescription drugs. However, it goes great with tomato juice, crushed ice and salt along the edge of a chilled glass.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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