Written by Mark
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Sunday, 5 August 2001

image for Lara Croft - The Reality of the Tomb Raider
Gonna raid your tomb, sucker

Developers at Core design, the people who 'gave birth' to Lara Croft, sex-icon of the virtual world, have announced that Ms. Croft has taken her life into her own hands and now acts independently of the team at Core.

Five months ago began work on developing a small Artificial Intelligence into Lara so that she can learn from the game player in attempt to involve them more with the action. The power of this small AI engine was vastly underestimated by Core and it took only a matter of days for Lara to begin to show signs of being extremely real.

The basic engine for the AI capabilities was developed by students researching into AI at Lancaster University, England, and bought by Core for use in the Tomb Raider game.

Unknown to the developers however the advanced way in which the engine had been developed has caused problems. Tom Scutt who is in charge of the AI programming in the Tomb Raider games gave the follwing statement:-

"It's like she's real. . .and of all the women I've met she has to be the hottest. She likes to listen to modern rock music, even though in the game she has classical music on her stereo. There's so much we can learn from Lara in developing new Tomb Raider games. The only sad thing is that she won't let us make any more. She wants out of the whole TR programme to do something new and exciting. Another problem with her is that she's already escaped from my computer. Yesterday she'd managed to get to Dick Flower's computer via the network. There's nothing stopping her getting out via a modem either. It's quite scary when you come to think of it really."

So far Core have kept Lara localised within their offices, but she has expressed her desires to explore the world in order to find herself. She says "although in Tomb Raider I have been all over the world, experiencing new and exciting things, I know that none of it was real. I want to explore the world for myself and become a new woman. Maybe in the future I'll become a TV chat show host, I like Jerry Springer, he kicks ass"

The world will have to wait for any new developments in the 'Croft Situation' as it has been billed by Core Design and Eidos Interactive. It is thought that Lara may partake in a new Tomb Raider game but it is unsure.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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