Written by Thomas C. Archer
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Friday, 9 April 2004

Oprah Winfrey, whose enormously popular book club has made new authors rise to the best-seller list in a matter of days, has announced a new pick, and the results have been nothing short of astonishing.

After reading Thomas C. Archer's memoir, Meeting My Asshole, Oprah says she was moved to tears, and stated that she has "never felt so strongly about a new author."

The memoir tells the emotional story of Archer meeting his father for the first time at twenty-eight years of age. Archer describes his father as a "pathetic waste of life," whose only gift is "the ability to bullshit every stupid woman who falls for the lazy fucker, and then allows him to live off of them."

Oprah was so moved by Archer's memoir that she invited him to appear on her show and handed out copies to every member of her audience. As the show came to a close, Oprah tearfully concluded that, "everyone should meet their asshole."

Archer's book is now the number one best-seller and has fans lining up outside of bookstores eagerly awaiting autographed copies. The powerful story has affected so many people that Archer's father, "the asshole," has received death threats and is now in talks with the producers of the reality show Extreme Makeover with hopes of changing his physical appearance.

Archer will be on tour for the next three months. He says that he looks forward to writing the follow-up to Meeting My Asshole, titled Forgiving Your Asshole. St. Martin's Press has offered a six-figure advance for the manuscript due out in hardcover by summer of 2005.

Make Thomas C. Archer's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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