Written by Jesus Budda
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Sunday, 6 January 2008

image for More Tits, Ass and Beaver shots on TV this Season
Dolly will front "Tits: a complete history".

Viewers are in for a wild ride this 2008 season following the announcement by National Geographic television that they are to show more flora and fauna in excessive detail than ever before.

Top billing goes to "Tits: a complete history", which was produced in conjunction with British broadcaster the BBC and took over 4 years to complete.

"Tits is gonna be unbelievable", said Val Gyna, executive chairman of National Geographic's wildlife division, "We've lined up some of the best tit shots you've ever seen. We've got intimate footage of the Great Tit, the Blue tit and the green tit all in stunning Hi-Definition super 8. If you're a fan of tit's then your gonna be thrilled to get a load of these beauties".

"We've special celebrity guest presenters lined up to narrate the programmes such as Dolly Parton and Pamela Anderson."

Also on the cards is a programme for all the family called "Check out My Ass".

"In that show we take an ordinary Joe and send him to live in New Mexico with a poor Hispanic family where he's gotta look after the family's pride and joy: an ass".

"Each week we set the guy a challenge to complete, such as ride the ass into town, give it a scrub down and pick up some beer. If he completes his task he wins a cash prize".

"The format is based on a Dutch TV programme called Donkey Show - but we had to change the format slightly. Let's just say the Dutch version was a little too 'Dutch' for family viewing tastes".

"Beaver Shots" will follow the fortunes of National Geographic cameraman,'Wee' Willy Winky, as he travels the world in search of some fine beaver's. In the programme we get to see rare footage of a Brazillian Beaver - thought extinct - as well as the common American beaver which resides in the Mid-West.

"We've a show called "Humping", which won't be on until Fall", says Gyna, " which details the secret life of the Hump Back Whale".

Another show which may attract a lot of interest is "Trouser Snakes", a show which details the hazards of handling dangerous pythons whilst wearing 1970's bell-bottomed jeans.

Earlier this year, a conglomerate including Playboy boss Hugh Hefner bought a 'significant' stake in National Geographic's television properties.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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