Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Amy Winehouse

Wednesday, 2 January 2008

image for 'Shagging Pete Doherty ain't adultery' Winehouse tells jailbird hubby
They were at it hammer and tongs according to a holiday rep

Montego Bay, Jamaica - (Bad Ass mess): A defiant Amy Winehouse spoke on the phone with her jailed husband today and denied that shagging Pete Doherty on her Ganja Tours Winter Sunshine break constituted adultery.

"Shaggin' Pete's like takin' a shit, darlin' - just a normal borin' bodily function," Whorehouse argued.

"No big deal about it, lover," the singer added, "ask anybody. Anybody 'cept Kate Moss, maybe."

But at HMP Belmarsh the singer's husband Flake Bleeder-Weevil was clearly hopping mad with rage.

"I ain't ever touchin' ya till you've scrubbed yer snatch out with bleach," Bleeder-Weevil threatened his Missus, "and had the rabies shot like ya promised."

Despite the furious trans-atlantic row the couple are unlikely to divorce.

Whorehouse, 23, has already coughed up half a million quid to pay for Flake's defence team in the GBH-with-menaces and perverting the course of justice charges that have had him banged up in the slammer since late November 2007.

And in an unprecedented show of matrimonial affection the singer has vowed to serenade her incarcerated spouse with a moonlight rendition of 'You were made for me' outside his cell at Belmarsh, sponsored by MTV and Halo! magazine.

Kate Moss is in detox.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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