Chuck Norris, martial arts expert and actor, is not happy with the new Chuck Norris book that is on the market for the holidays. The book, which features cartoons with captions such as "Chuck Norris is so tough, nails grind themselves to iron filings when he walks by," is on sale in stores now and has been on the internet in various forms for a few years.
Chuck Norris is so mad about the existence of the book, the printing presses are pretending to be orange juice squeezers.
Chuck Norris is so mad about the printing of this book, book distribution warehouses are lighting themselves on fire to keep him from coming to visit.
Chuck Norris is so mad about the publication of this book, Penguin Books gave itself a round house kick to the face.
Chuck Norris is so mad about not giving approval for this book that attorneys for Penguin are now being called the Missing In Action VI.
Chuck Norris is so mad at the people who actually bought this book, that he has threatened to return to acting in a new Walker, Texas Ranger television series.
(That threat alone ought to be enough to make everyone return the book to their local Barnes and Noble for a refund.)