Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Wednesday, 19 December 2007

image for Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy to be written into "Zoey 101"; set to examine the rare medical condition of teenage infertility, says Nickelodeon
Jamie Lynn Spears' is a working mom now at 16

Hollywood, California - With school districts giving out birth control to 11-year-olds and teen pregnancy on the rise throughout the nation, 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy with her live-in boyfriend has all the talk shows hypocritically asking how this could happen. When they all should be asking is what took her so long. At least that the spin executives at Nickelodeon are putting on the teenaged pregnancy controversy of the star of their popular show, "Zoey 101".

Producers of the much touted wholesome family values show intend to take Jamie Lynn Spears' character, Zoey, in a whole new direction and introduce their family values audience into to a whole new dimension of modern teenage sexuality.

"It will be done tastefully, of course," reassuringly says an executive for Nickelodeon Children's Network. "So we don't lose the more conservative market share of our audience faster than we can replace them with a more younger, how should I say this, more hip-hop urban audience."

When "Zoey 101" returns, after the writers' strike, the Children's Network plans to have Zoey and their conservative audience, not only embrace teenage pregnancy as a reality of our modern world, but also have Zoey actively trying to get pregnant. Only tragically, she will be unable to at least at first.

"Zoey will be facing a very rare, often unheard and highly socially stigmatized medical condition of teenage infertility," said a Nickelodeon Children's Network executive. "She will go through the emotional ups and downs that every adult middle-aged women who is trying to conceive but cannot because she put off raising a family too long so she could have a career. That's a lot drama for a 16-year-old to go through, don't you think?"

Of course, after multiple attempts and many, many false positive home pregnancy tests, Zoey finally gets pregnant in the end but now she has to face the fact that she does not know who is the father of her baby.

"We're think we will make that the next social issue Zoey will face," said the Children's Network executive. "Maybe tie it in with a guest star appearance of Zoey on the Maury Povich Show."

Producers are considering having Zoey tie the record for number of paternity tests given to the guys on the Maury Povich and still does not know who is the daddy. All depending on the new advertisers they anticipate they will attract, of course.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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