London, England - After their successful reunion tour, the Spice Girls announced at the O2 Arena in London that they would be taking on new professional stage names, reflecting their lifestyle changes. The Spice Girls will no longer be referred to as 'Scary, Baby, Ginger, Posh, and Sporty'. Critics contend, however, that in addition to the new names being a marketing faux pas, they go too far and are a little too much information, even for their most devoted fans.
"The old names no longer apply to them," said the Spice Girl manager. "They no longer truly reflect who they are today."
According to the Spice Girls, they just want to remain as real as possible with our loving loyal fans and changing their professional stage names is doing just that.
"You know, to let our fans know what's going on in our lives," said Posh Spice, now to be referred as simply C-Section Spice.
"Yeah, our fans need to know we're real people too," said Scary Spice, now referred to as Stretch Marks Spice.
The Spice Girls contend that in the almost ten years since their break-up that they have done a lot of living and have come into their own, really maturing.
"It may come to a shock to some of our fans that we're all grown up now," said Baby Spice, who changed her name to Old Spice. "Some of us having children of our own, while others are still holding out to be adopted by an ageing millionaire football player of their very own one day."
The Spice Girls say that they have all undergone a journey of self-discovery in the nearly decade long hiatus.
"Most definitely. Now I can be the person I was always meant to be," said Sporty Spice now called, Tom Boy Spice.