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Sunday, 16 December 2007

image for Kylie Declared Queen Of The Jungle Despite Last Minute Hitch
Kylie during last night's final with Leon out of shot

Diminutive pop Svengali, Simon Cowell, was today breathing a sigh of relief as his plans to have Australian pop princess and songstress, Kylie Minogue, declared winner of the X-Factor nearly went all Pete Tong.

It was smiles all round this morning as Kylie was declared Queen of the Jungle but it all could have been so different.

During last night's nail-biting three hour live final, Kylie risked all by singing a duet with desperately uncharismatic and downright awful singer Leon.

However her nearest rival, glam-diva Katherine Jenkins, nearly nicked the trophy as she was paired up with the truly talented and gifted performer, Rhyddian.

A show source told us:

"When Kylie sang with Leon we could hardly believe it. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot? She very very nearly blew it big style. God knows what she was thinking about.

All of us here on the show reckon she needs to get some new people in her camp because another decision like that could end her career"

Cowell was unavailable for comment as he was said to have had his nerves shot to bits as 4 months of careful stage managing nearly went up in smoke.

Third placers, Same Difference, were said to be furious as they were picked by Jason Donovan. The bloke from the duo told us:

"Jase did himself no favours whatsoever picking a couple of duds like us"

However it not all bad news as The Spoof can reveal that the duo have inked a deal that sees them star at the Huddersfield Pigeon Fanciers Club for all of January.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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