Written by lancemartin
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Saturday, 15 December 2007

image for B Movie addict critical of Bee Movie

MADISON, Wisc. - He expected to see hot, sexy, female inmates strip down to bra and panties and fight. Instead, all he see saw was a coming of age movie about the adventures of a young honey bee.

Area B movie buff Hershel Adams is now demanding the Cineplex refund his ticket money.
"I went in there the other night expecting to see some 'Caged Heat' action," the 32-year-old junior copywriter said. "All I got was some stupid movie about a young bee trying to break away and go on his own."

Adams said the theater owes him an apology, as well as his $8 ticket money and the $10 he spent on various snacks and drinks. "I had read in the alternative weekly I subscribe to that a big B movie festival was scheduled there. When I went to the Cineplex I thought something was amiss when the marquee spelled 'B' with two 'e's,'" the disappointed buff said. "They make misspellings all the time."

His mouth watering at the thought of seeing busty inmates slug it out and perhaps kiss encouraged him to forgive the typo.

Then things got a bit more strange when he saw an unusually large amount of children in front of him. "I was thinking that was kind of odd. But, you never know these days. Kids grow up a lot faster these days."

He became more suspicious when the coming attractions all advertised family-oriented films and when he saw the opening credits, Adams said he knew he had been duped. "It was a movie with Jerry Seinfeld in it doing a bee voice. I didn't even like his show that much and now he's in a stupid movie. Where is the justice? I expected to see hot scantily clothed inmates banging their cell bars with tin cups and perhaps a couple of inmate-guard sex scenes."

Adams left during the middle of the film after a 5-year-old urinated next to him. "I demanded my money back and was refused," he said.

Theater management was unapologetic. "If he had read his little snooty alternative rag closely, he would have seen the B Movie Festival was playing at the Cineplex 2. I went there last week and it was good, especially the prison break part where the inmates have to strip down in order to get through a sewage pipe," Manager Hunter Bottoms said. "He gets no money back for failing to read."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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