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Thursday, 13 December 2007

image for Jordan's Musky Smell Outsells Jade Goody, Kate Moss, Kylie et al
Perfume Makers Harvesting Katie's Musk

Katie Price aka Jordan was laughing all the way to the bank after her new "Twin Peaks Musk" Perfume topped the Christmas sales charts this week.

Jordan thrashed iconic scents such as Kate Moss' "Twiglets", Colleen Mcullough's "WAG-Musk to Attract Footballers" and Kylie Minogues,"Cute Ass Darling" and "Not So Cute Ass Now."

Jade Goody's best selling fragrance "Sssssssweaty Pits" dropped to tenth place behind Kerry Katona's "Kat-pssssss."

New entries into the fastest growing "money for cheap old rope" market were Nikki off Big Brother's fragrance,"Gobby" and Christina Aguilerra's, "Dirty Down There."

Traditional fragrances such as "Dior" and "Chanel No 5" didn't get a look in, the highest sales in this category belonging to "Charlie", the minging 70's fragrance, enjoying a retro sales revival thanks to connotations of cocaine.

Topping the male fragrance market for the tenth year in succession is Stella Artois.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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