Hollywood, California - Men, who love women with boy butts, or struggling to repress any latent homosexual tendencies, broke out into tears when they heard the news of Jessica Alba's pregnancy today.
The additional baby weight is expected to transform the beauty's unisex booty, ballooning it up into a Jennifer Lopez style bubble butt with its very own zip code, leaving purveyors of Alba's tiny tutee fruity scrambling for a replacement.
Alba made the announcement herself; ending tabloid rumors that she was having digressional track problems with a small apple, she ate for lunch several weeks ago.
Alba even had to show the positive pregnancy test results during the live interview to prove that her new lovely lady lump was a baby bump resulting from a not so dry hump she had with "The Fantastic Four" assistant director, Cash Warren, in their on and off again relationship and not an apple.
Reportedly, Alba's pregnancy is expected to have a ripple affect on all women everywhere on the planet as now they can relax and put on a few pounds of their own.
Upon hearing the news of Alba's pregnancy, Jennifer Lopez said, "Welcome to my world b**ch!"
No word on the wedding date, so technically speaking, Alba still on the meat market. Leaving everyone to speculate that either Warren has major psychotic commitment issues or he is the world's biggest idiot for hitting that and letting it walk away without tagging it.