Written by Kirk Scott
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Wednesday, 12 December 2007

image for Julianne Hough get Crabs from Helio Castroneves
"Hello Julianne"

Julianne Hough is a well known Ball Room dancer featured on ABC Dances with the Star. She was treated at the Atlanta Regional Medical center for a sexually transmitted disease (STD) called Crabs (also called pubic lice) which are small, wingless insects that infest pubic hair. Both men and women can get crabs.

It is report that she received the "Crabs" from her 2007 season dancing partner and Champion Indy race car driver Hélio Castroneves.

"I found it kind of strange Helio always was rubbing his crotch against something." Julianne said, "Lets be very clear, I had no sexual relations with that man. Helio Castroneves."

ABC's released a statement that it regrets that Julianne received Crabs due to close "crotch to crotch" contact during the Mambo. Brad Harrison Executive Producer of Dances with the Stars was very alarmed that this is even possible calling it "a terrible tragedy. Next year their will be a battery of testing to make sure all Stars are pure and clean"

Julianne was released by Dr. Harold Cessation last Tuesday with a Crab Comb and some shampoo. When asked for symptoms Dr. Cessation said, "What are the symptoms of crabs? Symptoms, which usually appear within 5 days of being exposed, include itching in the groin area. The crabs look like small flakes of skin to the naked eye, but you can actually see the insects with a magnifying glass. You may also see white or gray dots in your pubic hair; these are louse eggs."

Hélio Castroneves was completely embarrassed and offered to remove Julianne's Crabs 1 by 1 by hand.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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