Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Saturday, 24 November 2007

image for Judge orders Britney not to drive with her kids in the car; also, orders her not to chew bubble gum and walk at the same time
Britney not to drive her kids around anymore, or chew bubble gum and walk at the same time

Los Angeles, California - After the judge saw the video tape of Britney running a red light with her kids in the car with her, he ordered Britney not to drive her kids around anymore, although she maybe present in the same vehicle with them. Britney will now have to make other arrangements to have either someone else transport her and her children or have her kids dropped off for her.

Reportedly, during the hearing, Britney spoke out against her attorney's advice and asked the judge if she could address the court directly. The judge agreed.

Court transcripts show Britney then took the stand in her own defense and played the videotape of her driving with one of kids on her lap (instead of a child restraining seat), behind the steering wheal as she drove away from a parking lot full of the paparazzi.

Britney then proceeded to argue that she be allowed to continue to drive her kids in her car, provided that the oldest of her kids do the steering, while she worked the pedals.

"Would that be alright, judge," Britney asked the court. "If I let just the oldest boy do the steering, while I work the pedals? What am I talking about, permission to retract that question, judge. I just realized what I was asking you was wrong. The boy's a lot taller now, he could probably reach them on his own by now."

In amazement and disbelief, the judge shook his head, ordered a short recess and asked the court clerk for a glass of water and an aspirin.

After a short recess the court reconvene and K-Fed's attorney then presented further evidence that Britney also presents a danger to her children when ever she attempts to chew bubble gum and walk at the same time.

The court then saw footage of Britney nearly dropping her baby as she chewed bubble gum and was walking.

The judge agreed and ordered Britney not to chew bubble gum, walk at the same time while in the presence of her children, and especially refrain from attempting to pick them up or carry them in a manner or fashion.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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