New York, New York - In the predawn early morning hours, Mr. Saturday Night Live, Lorne Michaels, was rudely awoken from his warm bed in his cozy New York penthouse on the upper Westside of Manhattan, hooded, thrown into the back of a cold unmarked van operated by a US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) unit. He was then driven to the US/Canadian boarder and turned over to Canadian custom officials for repatriation.
It is the latest saga in the writers strike as the producers call in a political favor, and which was repeated hundreds of times as ICE units swept through Brooklyn, Hell's Kitchen and the Battery emptying out the boroughs looking for SNL Canadian comedy writers that were recently terminated by their employer, NBC.
"Let's face it," said a spokesman for ICE. "Everybody knows that the Canadian comedy writers are to the American comedy scene what Mexican immigrants are to the US labor market: hard working, underpaid, unwelcome foreigners out to steal your high paying American jobs. The WGA should thank us. We just did them a big favor."
US custom officials are technically adhering to the law, say immigration experts, because once the Canadian writers were terminated their work visas are automatically revoked by operation of law. Many, however, that are able to read between the lines, see it for what it is really. A low blow by NBC executives to breakup the WGA.
"They think they can break up the WGA by stripping our Canadian brothers and sisters of their work visas, deporting them back to Canada," said a spokesman for the WGAE. "But it won't work. We stand united. We will not be divided on the bases of national origin, race, culture, gender, sexual orientation, or religious affiliation. Although politics, we not so sure."
Meanwhile, a radical splinter group of WGA claims to have been preparing for such a contingency as this and are currently activating their underground railroad, which they have been secretly forming for several months before the strike with their neighbors south of the boarder.
"We will have them back in the country in no time," said a member to the radical underground writers group. "We're using a number of Coyotes (smugglers) that are sympatric to the WGA strike. They will sneak our Canadian friends back into the US by way of the international US/Mexican boarder."
After they are successfully across the boarder, it is expected that the Canadian writers will then be given jobs as menial laborers. Working at places like the Laugh Factory in Hollywood, posing as standup comedians in order to catch-up on their WGA Union Dues and child support arrearages.
"They may not earn much, but if they bus a few tables between sets they should make out with the tips they split with the waitresses," said a Coyote. "But until then, they'll just have to keep selling their blood until they finishing paying what they owe me."
No official word on Lorne Michaels since his deportation to Canada, although it is rumored that large tips at the Laugh Factory are greatly appreciated and could lead to your discovery as a talented comedy writer, working at SNL once the strike is over.