Written by Kirk Scott
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Sunday, 18 November 2007

image for 2 Girls 1 Cup Actress Dies at 22
Awards Show in October Photo by Ken Log

Jessica Marion died today at the age of 22. She was well known for the cult like short movie from 2 Girls 1 Cup. She died from complication stemming from food poisoning traced to a Los Angeles street vendor from a tainted buttered corn cob.

Los Angeles City Paramedics responded to a 911 call from a frantic Mc Donald's employee 18 year old Martha Rodriguez. "I was horrified," said Martha "I heard a strange sound coming from the women's bathroom." What she found was Jessica curled up in the fetal position with fetal matter all over her face and body. Martha said, "I nearly lost my chicken nuggets when she got some poop in her mouth. What I found strange was she felt more comfortable when poop got in her mouth."

She was transported to Cedar Sinai Medical Center. Dr. Craig Crappler was the emergency room physician and stated, "Ms. Marion died November 14th at 5:44 PM from food poising from a buttered corn cob." When asked for symptoms that would indicated Corn Cob food poising Dr Crappler said," Bad Breath, Vomiting and a strange sexual urge to eat feces."

Funeral service will be held at St. Poophious Sister Order of the Blessed on Yankers Ave. at 2:30 Pm in West Hollywood on August 19th. Jessica's Mother Karen Pholong asks that instead of flowers to make a cash donation to the Irritable Bowel Syndrome foundation of Calcutta India. She also invites people to leave condolence on youtube.com

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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