Written by Bull Winkle Wilson
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Saturday, 17 November 2007

image for American Idol Judge Simon Cowell and Gordon Ramsay Announce President/VP Ticket

Saying that current American Presidential candidates can't carry a tune in a paper bag, and don't have any fresh solutions, Simon Cowell has announced he and Gordon Ramsay are launching a new British invasion of sorts, running for the Democratic Presidential nomination.

"We can tell it like it really is, none of this waffling on the issues about things like drivers licenses. If an illegal wants a drivers license, it is time to drive them home."

When it comes to drunken drivers, Cowell says give them the straight line walking test in the middle of a busy freeway, then they will get what's coming to them. Ramsay added if he is VP, he will see to it that microwave ovens, frozen dinners, and canned goods are done away with by law. He says Hillary probably doesn't even know how to make a lasagna from scratch.

George Bush comments that he doesn't even think the two can legally run since the Constitution requires the President must be a US citizen who was born in the US. "An anchor baby could run, but not these guys", Bush lauded.

Cowell said Bush was one of the worst performances he has ever seen. "He couldn't even sing a Hank Williams tune if he was given the sheet music."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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